Honest geekery...

...existential angst about dishing the dirt on stuff I don't think works, makeup I've used and loved, the £4 Amazon buy that changed my life & the one product category I might never buy again...

Can I be really, really honest…?

Years ago when I first started working in journalism I remember having a conversation with an editor about why you never saw bad reviews of travel places or spa treatments and her explanation was that if something wasn’t any good, it just didn’t get the oxygen of publicity, people simply didn’t write about it. As far as she was concerned, why would you dedicate pages of a newspaper to something that wasn’t any good, why waste time telling someone something was crap?

And bear in mind, this was newspapers, that at the time really did write whatever they wanted to, not magazines that had more complicated relationships with advertisers that sometimes compelled them to include positive editorial about certain products. (Weirdly restaurant critics and arts critics generally didn’t seem to have the same code of ethics back then, but then maybe that’s partly because their title gave them license to be critical in the way that a beauty writer’s or travel writer’s doesn’t.) Back then I was commissioned to write a piece about what really goes into Creme de la Mer and if it’s worth the pricetag. You can read it here — I’m pretty proud of it still. I’m also fairly sure that, as a result, I —officially or otherwise — ended up on an Estee Lauder blacklist as for years I didn’t hear anything from most of their brands.

Now I feel as if the media landscape has changed. Brands pay content creators for advertising that looks like editorial. Some content creators declare it as advertising. Not all do. (Come on, we all know this, we all know that they’re meant to, anyone who is on social media and plugged into this sort of thing can name a handful of those that don’t disclose it as they’re meant to.) The balance of power of advertisers in print media has shifted significantly and so I feel that actually saying nothing isn’t an option any more.

And yet... what if it’s me? What if, Taylor-style, I’m the problem? Because a few weeks ago I got invited to go for a treatment. It was a hair treatment that sounded different and interesting, and promised long-term results using innovative technology. So I pitched it to a few of the publications I write for regularly, one wasn’t keen, another had already commissioned someone to try it. I thought I’d just go along and try it out with a view to — at the very least — including it in this newsletter.

And so I went along and I had the treatment and I interviewed the stylist about it and I took loads of pictures and at the end yeah my hair looked great but then my hair always looks *relatively* great after a professional blow dry so for me the proof of the pudding was in how it looked after I’d washed it. And, honestly, it didn’t look any different. It was still frizzy and flyaway and not doing what I wanted it to, which was the exact opposite of what the treatment promised.

But I know other journalists who have had it and seem to have loved it. So what do I do? Do I write about it here and say it’s a waste of time and money just because it didn’t work for me? Or do I just accept that it might not have worked for me but it does appear to have worked for other people so I’m not going to write about it but I’m not going to badmouth it either? Instinctively, I’ve landed on the latter. I’d be interested to know if you agree.

The whole thing kind of brings me back to the one thing that I bang on about constantly. Clinical trials. Because if this brand had come to me with credible and convincing clinical trials on the treatment then I could have considered writing about it and the fact that maybe my experience wasn’t representative. This for me is a classic example of why I write about beauty in the way that I do. I always say I care less about whether something worked for me than about whether objectively you can show that it’s worked for 50 people who aren’t me. What I think becomes irrelevant if you’ve tried something on 50, 100, 200, 300 different women and have good clinical data showing that it’s effective (and that they can see it’s effective — I do agree that there’s no point showing you’ve achieved something at a cellular level if a woman looks in the mirror and can’t see that change with her own eyes.)

So yeah, the moral of this story? Do clinicals. (And if you’re a brand and you don’t know where to start, I can help you with that.)

Makeup empties

I am not blind to the out-and-out irony of writing what I’ve written above about not caring what one person thinks and whether it works on one person and then diving straight into a post which is essentially all about me and what I’ve tried and liked.

Even as I was putting this newsletter together I wondered whether I should avoid having an empties post alongside that one. Does it make me a hypocrite? I think the reality is that if it’s an empties post I’ve liked the product enough to finish it so can usually find something positive to say about it. But it still doesn’t get us away from the fact that I care less about whether I liked it and more about whether loads of people liked it. So please, if you’ve tried any of these products, do share your thoughts — positive and negative — below. I am always keen to know what other people think of what I liked and loathed. (I despised a recent concealer launch and couldn’t understand why it seemed drying and cakey on me when everyone else was raving about how hydrating it was…)

Anyway as I mentioned when I did my post on hair empties, I personally am fascinated by empties content. In part because I genuinely don’t know how some people can possibly get through the amount of product that they do unless they’re showering and cleansing and reapplying makeup four times a day. Or maybe that’s normal and I’m — as I have frequently said — just really lazy. So lazy that I’ve been collecting empties for years with the intention of doing an empties post and am gradually, thanks to this newsletter, getting round to it.

I’m also a bit squeamish when it comes to posting empties content myself, especially makeup stuff, because it makes me feel a bit like I’m suggesting that I am in any way aspirational. And, while I don’t suffer from dysmorphia, I also know I’m neither the most naturally beautiful beauty editor on the block, nor the most skilled at makeup. I guess I am possibly one of the most honest though, so there’s that.

Again, who knows exactly how long it took me to make my way through this little lot and honestly, I have a gazillion mascaras sitting on my dressing table that are probably 90% empty but I never quite get round to relegating to the empty pile so this just makes me look like I’m brow obsessed. Or, perhaps more accurately, as if there are very few products that I actually like and use on a regular enough basis that they run out. Let’s get stuck in…

First up brow pencils….

Kosas Brow Pop Nano in Taupe, £20
If you are the sort of person who can be bothered to draw in individual lines, you will love this brow pencil. The tip is super fine and it’s got a spoolie at the other end. On the days when I had more than 10 seconds to do my brows, I loved it. What I didn’t love was the price for the amount that you get — it’s 0.03g and didn’t last very long.

Paul & Joe Eyebrow Liner in 02, £16.15
You definitely get more bang for your buck with this one — a third more, it’s 0.04g — and fractions of a millimetre wider than the Kosas one. As with all these mega thin liners, they tend to snap very easily so only ever twist out the smallest amount otherwise you just end up wasting it.

Trish McEvoy Precision Brow Shaper in Natural Brunette, £24
Despite the price, I did like this — like the Kosas one, the integrated spoolie at the other end endeared it to me — as did the fact that more £££ actually did give me more product — a massive 1g. The only thing was that I found this very hard and had to press quite firmly to leave a mark. But when it was there it didn’t budge.

Benefit Goof Proof Brow Pencil in 4, £26
Is it just me or is Benefit looking a bit dated now? The packaging looks a bit weird rather than kitsch. I don’t necessarily hate what’s in it but it just feels a bit naff. But maybe I’m just too old for it. This is definitely goof proof, it’s a kind of triangular pencil point so you can use the pointy bit to define and the wider bit to fill. I liked it because it was softer than the others, but I also ran more of a risk of ending up with what was once called a Scouse Brow — but I feel like that’s not the sort of thing you should say any more. If you’re a Scouser let me know. (If you don’t live in the UK, a Scouser is a colloquial term for someone from Liverpool.)

BUT… having reviewed four brow liners, I’m not really sure I actually want to use ones like this again. Partly because of the plastic — it’s all tiny bits of single use plastic which are really hard to recycle and although I am not at all greener-than-thou, when you could just buy a wooden pencil that biodegrades, I find that quite hard to justify. But also, I was intrigued by how much product actually got left behind inside when you think that they’re “empty” and in some cases, quite a lot it turns out. Obviously the way that they’re made it feels like a little bit is collateral damage but the Paul & Joe one wouldn’t twist up any more and when I pulled it apart it still had masses inside. Anyway if you’ve tried a wooden brow pencil you love, let me know.

Moving on from liners which I use when I have time to brow mascaras I use when I don’t…

Trish McEvoy Brow Mascara in Natural Brunette
This appears not to exist any more so I’m not sure there’s any point me telling you that I liked it — which I did. I really did. It had good colour and hold for the brows that were there and bonus little fibres that helped conceal any gaps. RIP. But if you like that sort of thing, despite the ick that the packaging gives me, I would recommend the Benefit Gimme Brow+ (£26, or test drive it with the smaller version for £14.50) which has the similar colour plus fibres plus hold thing. I rediscovered it in an old makeup bag recently and it was like Kellogs’ Cornflakes, I’d forgotten how good it tasted. (That was a joke for old people. Obviously don’t eat it.)

Glossier Boy Brow, £22
This is one of the products that made me fall in love with Glossier back in the day when it first launched. Along with the mascara, it felt like it nailed the no makeup makeup thing, giving you colour and definition without looking actually made up. It’s based on moustache pomade apparently and does a really good job of giving colour and holding brows in place without feeling crispy.

Merit Volumising Pomade in Brown, £21
If you like the Glossier one, you’ll love this. It’s got a bigger brush than the Glossier one and you get a bit more product for your cash — 4.5g rather than 3.8g — but it does the same non-waxy, non-crispy thing. When Merit launched I tried to pitch some stories around it being the Glossier for grown-ups — that idea that I feel like Glossier started with and have since moved away from, that you don’t have to think, you don’t need loads of brushes and loads of time, you can just slap it on with your fingers in five minutes.

Charlotte Tilbury Legendary Brows in Dark Brown, £26
I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I’m a CT girl when it comes to makeup — that’s not to say I don’t love a load of the products, but when I was looking up the price on this one I realised it’s meant to be step two of a three-step brow system (fill with a pencil, then put on tinted gel then fix it with another product) — I am barely a one-step brow person. This has a teeny brush which is great for precision application (again not really my style) and the formula did give a really natural look on me so not to be sniffed at. Would I buy it again in preference to any of the others? Probably not.

A couple of mascaras…

Maybelline Colossal Curl Bounce Mascara, £12.99
I adore High Street mascaras. I just think they’re great. I have yet to find a premium mascara that I would buy in preference to a High Street one because I felt the price justified the extra performance. I’ve written previously about my latest crush: L’Oreal’s Extensionist (currently just £11.19 if you haven’t already tried it) and while this one didn’t give the length that that does, if you want curl without clump, this Maybelline one did it for me.

L’Oreal Paris Air Volume Water Proof Mega Mascara, £7.99
I got given the waterproof version of this and liked it so much that I went out and bought the regular one — it’s difficult to explain how it’s so lightweight and yet still gives length and volume. Anyway it does all that — and both the waterproof one and the regular one are currently just £7.99 on Amazon.

And finally a concealer and a few bases…

Maybelline Instant Anti-Ager Eraser Concealer, £7.99
A while back I tried 26 different concealers for a story for the Mail and this one was up there with the Nars one that is almost four times the price. I love the fact that it has a sponge applicator (we’ve already established I am very much not a brush girl most of the time, although I KNOW makeup looks better when you use brushes) although I cannot explain what witchery they have used so that applicator doesn’t go gunky and mouldy. Just that it’s a million times better and more robust that the Charlotte Tilbury one that’s similar. And also it seems to have one of the most efficient dispensing systems out there — there’s almost nothing left in there.

Charlotte Tilbury one looks way better, take it from me, it isn’t

Estee Lauder DoubleWear Cushion Stick in Shell Beige 4N1
This is aeons old — I’m not sure how many aeons but they definitely don’t do DoubleWear in a cushion stick any more and more is the pity, it was like a massive version of that Maybelline concealer. I love DoubleWear. A friend of mine who used to work on TV sold me on it saying that it’s literally the only thing that she could put on first thing in the morning, go and do interviews in the rain and then come back and be in the studio under the lights and it wouldn’t budge yet didn’t feel cakey and drying. Apparently they’ve reformulated it recently but maybe I’m still on an ELC shitlist as I’ve not been sent any info on it. But for longwear foundation I love it. (Although if you’re on a budget I tried this Maybelline one in a head to head test with it and it fared pretty well.)

L’Oreal True Match Nude Plumping Tinted Serum in 4-5 Medium, £14.99
I had forgotten until I started writing this how much I ADORED this serum foundation. Did it plump? Not noticeably but then what really does? It’s blendable, sheer, and yet gives good coverage and is glowy and dewy and all the things you kind of want your skin to be. It was skin tint before everyone started doing skin tint and it’s still a really good one. One thing I should say is that the thing that TRANSFORMED this product for me was switching out the dropper for a pump I bought from Amazon — gamechanger. My white t-shirts are grateful.

Life-changing. And laundry saving.

Lumene Invisible Illumination Instant Glow Beauty Serum in Universal Medium, £34.50 (although if you know your shade shop around as both the Lumene website and Sephora have it half price but each has several shades out of stock.)
I feel like Lumene is a brand I need to get my head round a bit more — it’s Nordic and does skincare and I vaguely recall liking one of their vitamin C products but it’s all very vague…Anyway, I do remember liking this for all the same reasons that I liked the L’Oreal one. Would I buy it at full price instead of the L’Oreal one? Nope.

Trinny London BFF De-Stress Serum in Binky, £41
I don’t recall this product noticeably alleviating signs of stress from my face, I do remember it being a nice lightweight tinted moisturiser type product. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it at all. It contains hyaluronic acid and is nicely hydrating. I’d still pick the L’Oreal one over this one if I was spending my own money.

Color Wow Root Cover-Up in Medium Brown, £29.50
I’m not sure how this ended up in the makeup empties pic rather than the hair one — but in an emergency, I have used this as both brow definer and eyeliner to create a smokey eye and it did a decent job. But where it really excels is in its intended role as a root cover up. I use a far bigger brush than the one provided but it’s brilliant for covering greys or regrowth, doesn’t budge, has a depth of colour that looks natural — and is also great on the scalp for filling in wider partings or areas where you have a bit of recession. Even though I got the hump with them years ago for changing the amount of product from 3.0g to 2.1g and keeping the price the same, I haven’t found anything that’s anywhere close to as good as this.

Do please share your thoughts on any of these products, on my existential crises, on whether you love or loathe empties posts. I want to hear it all.

Until next time…

Note: I only enthuse about products I really rate, but I can earn commission on products I mention here. If you hate the idea of this, please let me know, as this is very much a work in progress and nothing is set in stone.